As he prepared to rape Upik, as she was lying before him without any clothes, Ridwan remembered the first time he wore long,.pants. I hat recollection amused him. He didn't want anyone to know about it, especially Upik who was naked and in the clutches of his desire. A strange, stiff smile hung on his lips.That day, the first day he wore long pants, was burned into his memory, but it was not just because of die pants themselves. What were long pants? But that first pair of long pants had a special significance to Ridwan.They were so significant, in fact, that the memory of the first time he wore them came back to Ridwan just as he was about to commit the crushing act of rape.
For days, Ridwan had anticipated that first special pair of pants, even though the excitement he had felt some 15 years ago was not as complete as what he felt standing, with his blood boiling, bv the bed where Upik was lying. Ridwan had impatiently awaited that day. He was impatient for his circumcision to heal. He was impatient to take off the sarong he had been wearing since the circumcision was done. Even though that sarong was a special one, made of fine Bugis cloth that had been bought for him by his uncle Malik Datuak Mantiko Nan Sati, who was his mothers younger brother, Ridwan hated sarongs. He wanted to wear long pants. He wanted to be like Ali and Maman, the neighbor boys who were in high school and, unlike him, wore long pants to class. Ridwan had just started junior high school arid had to wear shorts. On Fridays in their village, Koto, Ali and Maman and the other boys their age always wore long pants to the mosque.They didn't wear sarongs like
the old people or the "children" like Ridwan, who were too young for long pants.
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